Shout out to Caregivers on Caregiver Appreciation Day! 

Caregivers provide essential support and assistance to individuals in need and should be celebrated everyday, not just on Cargiver Apprecitation Day.  From assisting with activities of daily living to offering emotional support and advocacy, caregivers play a crucial role in improving the quality of life for those they care for.

In 2021, I became a caregiver. 

To make a very long story short, my stepdad was hospitalized on February 1st, 2021.  After a month in the hosiptal and rehab he would be discharged under one condition; he needed a fulltime caregiver until further notice. Without hesitation. I packed my bags, put my life on hold, and moved in with him. (GRATITUDE W.I.N.S.  - I had the time and flexibility to become his caregiver.)

A week before he came home, his landlord called to say he had to move out by May 1st because the home was going to be sold. I almost choked. There was NO way in hell, I could manage all of that. I asked for an extra month and she agreed. Move out date was postponed to June 1st. (That was a GRATITUDE W.I.N.S.)

The only problem... my dad’s house looked like Fred. G. Sanford’s home from the 70’s sitcom, Sandford and Son. Imagine a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, house, with a two car garage packed with 80 plus years of stuff.

One of the primary responsibilities of caregivers is to assist individuals with activities of daily living (ADLs). This includes tasks such as bathing, dressing, grooming, and feeding. Caregivers provide hands-on assistance or guidance to ensure that individuals can maintain their independence and dignity in their daily routines. My dad was mobile, ableit a little shaky on his feet. Thankfully, we had an aide come twice a week to help him in the shower. (Another GRATITUDE W.I.N.S.) 

In addition to assisting with ADLs, caregivers manage medications and monitor the health of individuals under their care. Sounds easy enough, but for someone who was thrown into being a full time caregiver, there was a lot to remember. Test his sugar. Insulin before he eats… morning, and evening shots. Did I give it to him? How much does he need? Thankfully, he was able to inject himself, I just had to hand him the pen. (GRATITUDE W.I.N.S.)

And we still had to go through eighty years of stuff because he had to move.

Futhermore, caregivers provide emotional support and companionship.. Thankfully, my stepdad and I had an amazing relationship. He was actually my EX-stepdad. Our running joke was that when he and my mom divorced, I got to keep him.  But, I digress.

This was probably the hardest part for me. Time was ticking and we had to start purging and selling his stuff. So in addition to being his caregiver which was a full time job, I now had to learn about tools, and selling online.

Here’s how it worked. I would throw something away and he would pull it out of the trash. The first few times it was funny - then it wasn’t. My patience were running thin, and we were running out of time.

One morning, while doing dishes, I had a meltdown. Feelings of overwhelm, sadness, fear, anger, and frustration overtook me.

Then it hit me.

I heard the voice. "Vismaya, you can continue to be overwhelmed, angry, frustrated and sad, OR you can learn how to do the things you need to do, make him some money, have fun, and utimately start Living in GRATITUDE Today because you have the privilege of being your dad’s caregiver.

From that point forward, things shifted. To say, I never had another melt down would be a lie. However, they were milder and less frequent.

I started by being my own caregiver and deliberately incorporating activites into our daily and weekly routines that we both enjoyed: afternoon naps while being lulled to sleep by the birds, butterfly sightings under the avocado tree, belly laughs with the Impractical Jokers (television show), and my favorite  - weekly massages. Each of these was a GRATITUDE W.I.N.S.

I'll say it again, caregivers deserve respect and acknowledgement all year around, not just on Caregiver's Appreciation Week. 

Lastly, caregivers serve as advocates for the individuals they care for.  Morevoer, they often step in and offer respite care for family members who serve as caregivers by offering temporary relief and support to prevent caregiver burnout.

Until you walk in the shoes of a fulltime caregiver, you will never know how exhausting, consuming, and rewarding it can be. So for Caregiver Appreciation Day, do something to honor the people who care for your loved ones and do it more frequently than once a year.