Letting Go!
Why am I spending so much time cleaning up and de-cluttering?
I am spinning my wheels, yet I’m going nowhere. What do I do with twenty years of love letters from students, pencils, markers, cardboard (yes cardboard), pens, glitter, construction paper, books, and the list goes on? After twenty years of teaching, it’s time, to get rid of stuff – STUFF that I’ve been holding on to in case I need it. The scariest/craziest thing is that I hold on to it year after year but I NEVER use it because I may run out. Sounds crazy…
You may be asking, “what does this have to do with gratitude?” A WHOLE lot.
I often live in scarcity mode (until recently); I fear that I will run out and 1.never find it again, 2. if I find it, I won’t be able to afford it. I have a ton of stuff that I hold onto so that I can sell it and make money. The question is when? The answer: soon.
SOON is NOW, After emptying my classroom, now is the time to purge and let go. It’s not just letting go of the material items; it’s letting go of my past hurts, my past beliefs that no longer serve me. It’s about being open and free and approachable without anything in the way.
I look back on my life and I know why this need to “hold on” started. It comes from – my mom. Growing up, my mother was a neat freak. Our house smelled of Pine Sol and bleach, the living room furniture was just for show, and everything had its place.
My stepdad was different. Born in the middle of the depression, he grew up on a farm and was taught to use, reuse, and repurpose everything you have. Because of that, I affectionately nicknamed him MacGyver after the character Angus “Mac” MacGyver in the 1980s television show with the same name. He could fix anything and if he didn’ have the part, he would make it. Hence, the reason he saved EVERYTHING.
The exact opposite of my mother. When he left for work, my mother would throw things away. Literally. She gave away and/or tossed out my stepdad’s stuff when he was working it cluttered up her space. This was a bone of contention for many years and when they got divorced as a way to “show her”, we didn’t throw away anything… I mean nothing!
At that time, really for the first time in my life since I was 14, I didn’t have a job. Since I didn’t have the money to go out and party… I would make things, find reasons to shop for clearance items and then I never used them. A little crazy.
Here is what I know. This stuff blocks my ability to grow and manifest everything I want. Abundance and lack are polar opposites and if my underlying belief is one of scarcity – there is no space for abundance. I can’t be abundant with a lack mentality.
My goal is to create a clean, organized, inviting space which screams creativity, playfulness, and abundance, a space that cultivates GRATITUDE.
And the time is now.
