Self Love is the Key to Becoming a Better You

Self-love is the key to becoming a better you. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot beat yourself into a better version of yourself. In other words, no amount of criticism, judgment, or negative self-talk will lead to positive changes or genuine self-love.

Rather than motivating positive change, self-hatred perpetuates negativity, shame, and self-sabotage. Moreover, it can lead to behaviors and thoughts that reinforce feelings of unworthiness, making it difficult to cultivate self-compassion and acceptance. Self-hatred typically stems from feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, or negative beliefs about one's worthiness.

As challenging as it seems, start by embracing your imperfections, acknowledging your strengths, and treating yourself with love and respect. Genuine transformation and self-acceptance arise from kindness, understanding, and self-compassion rather than from negative self-talk, guilt, or feelings of inadequacy.

To clarify, this doesn’t mean you’re being complacent. Call yourself out. Notice the areas in your life that need attention. Do it from a place of self-love, not self-hatred. It’s much easier to make changes in a safe, loving environment.

One of the simplest ways to shift from self-hatred to self-love is to look for your GRATITUDE W.I.N.S. regularly. Try it for 30 days. Every evening or every morning (I prefer to do it in the morning), take a few minutes to look specifically for the "I" and "N" in W.I.N.S. To do that, answer the following questions. "How did I make the world a little brighter?" and "How did I nourish my mind, body, and spirit today?"

Answering these questions shifts your focus from what’s NOT working, what you DIDN’T get done, and your IMPERFECTIONS to what IS working, what you ACCOMPLISHED, and your STRENGTHS.

However, for this exercise to be most effective, you must write your answers down. Research shows that keeping running track motivates you to keep going and boosts your self-esteem.

Grab a GRATITUDE bag and write down your W.I.N.S. on the ”I am GRATEFUL cards.” Somedays, you’ll have a lot to write down, and other days you won’t. The objective is to keep track of all of your wins, large and small.

Some things you may write on your cards. These are vague responses. Make yours more specific. The more detailed they are the better.

How did I make the world a little brighter?

How did I nourish my mind, body, or spirit?

On days when you’re beating yourself up, feeling shame or guilt, or are about to self-sabotage, open your GRATITUDE bag and read what you’ve written on your “I am GRATEFUL cards.” You’ll see how much you’ve accomplished and how you positively impact the world. That’s why it's important to write in detail, the more detailed the easier it is to remember the event. More importantly, you’ll feel the shift and LOVE yourself to positive changes.

If you’re ready to start LOVING yourself to positive changes, join the next Living in GRATITUDE Today Experiment.